I haven't confessed to any Mom Bombs in a while, though it's certainly not because there haven't been plenty. I'm slowly accepting that coming up short on parenting skills is going to be my everyday reality. For example:
- Lamb is developing the annoying habit of dropping food over the side of his highchair. The bits that didn't make the cut at dinner become infinitely more enticing as floor food. Yeah, I let him.
- When I sweep the kitchen floor, I'd better have my game face on. Lamb will follow me and snack out of the dust pan if I'm not watching.
- Lamb was playing with the humidifier yesterday and not listening at all when I said, "That's not for Lamb, no!" I smacked the couch to get his attention... now he smacks the couch and cracks himself up.
- Lamb thinks that anything that comes out of a pump bottle is soap for washing your tummy, even when you're fully dressed and have no idea what's in the bottle. I'll let you imagine how that's turning out for us.
- Mascara tubes are not toddler-proof.
- Dog turds are the same color as raisins.
- Tom and Lamb love to kick leaves at the park. Lamb found an old, filthy take-out cup in a leaf pile and "drank" out of it about 60 times before we could wrestle it out of his hands.
- Lamb and I had dinner with friends while Tom was working late one night. I was so involved in some wild story I was telling that when Lamb asked for a drink I gave him a gulp without thinking. The gulp was of my adult beverage. Thankfully, he spit it all out.
And a cold/flu season bonus:
A few weeks ago, Tom and I awoke in the wee hours to the sound of Lamb coughing. One cough, two, then silence. Tom went and opened Lamb's door and listened for his sleeping breaths, and came back to bed. When he left for work, Tom brought Lamb into our bed to snuggle the last stretch of the night. In the morning when I walked into the nursery, I realized that the coughing sound had actually been a barfing sound... he hadn't even woken up! The mess was everywhere, including my bed, and I had made him sleep in it. FAIL!
Days later, Tom and I caught the same nasty stomach bug while we were staying at his grandma's. We were passing the baby back and forth as we traded off turns in the bathroom, so we all tried to crash in the same high bed. In the chaos, a certain small someone got scooted too close to the edge of the bed and did a nosedive in his sleep onto the linoleum. The next morning while Tom and I were prostrate on the couch (dying), Lamb got tired of waiting for lunch and had to take matters into his own hands:
Hope things are looking more proficient at your house. Have an awesome weekend, mamas. :)